Questions for Family Members
One of the first questions that the professional addiction counselors at Lasting Recovery are asked when contacted by concerned or suffering family members is –
“Why does everyone keep saying I need help, too?”
When you love someone who you think is abusing alcohol or drugs, it is very easy for your attitudes and behaviors – your whole life – to become just as out-of-control and unmanageable as theirs, and being able to recognize the problem is the first step in knowing what to do.
Lasting Recovery has put together a list of questions that can help family members determine if a problem exists, so they can take the next step and get help –not just for the substance abuser, but for the entire family.
Because of someone else’s drinking or drug use, DO YOU –
- Blame yourself?
- Find yourself excessively worrying or obsessing?
- Have trouble sleeping?
- Feel isolated or alone?
- Experience anxiety?
- Suffer from depression?
- Dislike yourself?
- Feel worthless?
- Fear for their personal safety or that of yourself or your children?
- Place the needs of the substance abuser above those of yourself or your family?
- Assume responsibility for cleaning up the damage done from their addictive behaviors?
- Lie to employers or school officials to protect them from the consequences of their actions?
- Pay for bail, fines, or lawyer’s fees?
- Conceal their alcohol and drug use from other family members?
- Follow them or keep tabs on them via electronic means?
- Go through their phone calls, texts, emails, or social media?
- Try to track how they spend every penny of their money?
- Resent or even sometimes hate the substance abuser?
- Suffer from excessive guilt?
- Avoid social and familial events out of embarrassment?
- Feel like you are “better than” the substance abuser?
- Continually need to justify or rationalize your actions?
- Believe that everything would be “perfect” if the other person stopped drinking/using?
- Make “deals” against your better judgment?
- Try to manage or control the other person’s consumption and/or behaviors?